Aside from all the other reasons it’s gross, humor that’s based on degrading women and minorities is plain lazy. If you can’t make people laugh without punching down, you’re just not funny.
Just be kind and weird. Be absurd. It’s not that hard.
I make people laugh by punching down myself
That’s because of toxic societal teachings.
Be an anarchist: love yourself.
I feel compelled to tell you that this is now wallpaper for both my lockscreen and my homepage
give us the pics
Also, while we’re here, I also wanna say that this shitpost has actually touched me. Like I’ve had serious loving comments from friends and family about caring about myself, and this has somehow made a bigger impact. This post legit brought me to tears. I have it written on my hand and it’s probably going to be written many other places. And that’s why it’s my wallpaper
i’m proud of you, you funky little anarchist melon ball
one of the things that bothers me most about posts which imply (or outright state) that all men are inherently abusive, aside from the fact that it’s objectively untrue, is that it normalises and excuses abuse – if abusiveness is inseparable from maleness and masculinity, then abusive men aren’t really accountable for their actions, because by that logic they can’t help it. this also falsely implies that there is no alternative male behaviour, which is incredibly dangerous and absolutely contributes to victim blaming where the perpetrator was a man. men can be gentle! men can be loving! if you’re attracted to men, accept nothing less, and never place the blame on your own attraction to men if you are poorly treated rather than on the man in question for actively choosing to mistreat you.
no one wants to hear it but love is earned after the initial infatuation. commitment is something u both mutually agree to and then from there it’s work. it’s not work like it’s a chore it’s jus work like it takes effort. to get good at these things takes practice. it takes practice to learn to communicate better and it takes practice to learn to love each other in the ways u need to be loved.
one of the most amazing things that has been said to me in therapy is that self esteem doesn’t exist.
and that floored people and the psych went onto say that what she meant was that self esteem is a concept that actually includes a vast array of things and labelling them all as one thing is really limiting and prevents actual improvement
you could have real strong pride in the things you create and hate your body
you could hate your creations but also want to share them with people
you could not hate yourself at all but not take care of yourself, engage in reckless self endangerment
thats all bundled under ‘self esteem’ but saying ‘i need better self esteem’ doesn’t mean anything
whereas if you say ‘i need to work on ways to keeping myself safe, refusing to act on destructive urges’ or ‘i want to be in a place where i believe compliments trusted people give me’
thats concrete, thats a goal.
having it said in therapy helped a lot of people in my group stop saying ‘i have low self esteem’ and start specifying about the actual issue they have
Understand that there is a huge difference between someone finding you physically attractive and someone who actually respects and values you as a whole person and sees you in their future
So i just came out to my dad abt being nb, and he said something really wise about names, i think.
He said “Gifts are not obligations. You give things to people, and you hope they like them. And your name was a gift from us to you. If it doesn’t work for you anymore, you’re not obligated to keep it.”
and i just thought maybe other people could use hearing something like that.
if you’re coming at any kind of discourse that involves abuse survivors in any capacity under the impression that we’re all a monolithic group who holds the same opinions on every single subject, you’re already fucking up
this is true whether you’re a survivor yourself or not
nah but really
“no survivor likes (show/comic/book/movie/etc)” – yes they do
“no survivor ships (pairing)” – yes they do
“no survivor reads/writes (whatever)” – yes they do
“no survivor is into (whatever kink)” – yes they are
“no survivor is a (religion/political denomination)” – yes they are
“no survivor thinks (blah blah blah)” – YES THEY DO
because survivors are individuals with interests and hobbies, desires, backgrounds, and LIVES that either exist outside of their history of abuse or have been shaped by their abuse in a multitude of ways.
name a thing, there are survivors who are into it.
name a belief, there are survivors who believe it.
because not to kick this dead horse a few more times but
WE’RE NOT ALL THE SAME!!!
and a major failing of tumblr discourse (among like, millions of others) is treating us like we are. it’s in going from “i personally feel this way as a survivor, because i’m a survivor” which is totally fine to tack on “and so therefore ALL survivors feel this way and anyone who doesn’t is not a survivor at all” which is patently not fine.
this is also why “i’m a survivor and you’re not allowed to disagree with me because you’re talking over a survivor” is such a shit substitute in place of actual opinions and actual arguments — it comes from a place of “no survivor would ever think differently from me” which!! is not true! because we are not your damn clones, we are our own people who have our own opinions which – yes – can differ from each others.
not only do other survivors disagree with you but they are not talking over you by doing that any more than you are talking over them. you going “but i’m a survivor so there” is not an actual debate position, on its own it is not a get out of discourse free card that proves you are completely and utterly right about everything the second you slap it down on the table, and let’s not skip over the fact that it comes with the extra nastiness of forcing other survivors to out themselves and their history of abuse in order to have the ‘right’ to disagree with you.
so to go back to the original post? when you enter into any debate and your position relies on the assumption that all survivors are on “your side” and no survivors are on the “other side” and you think your position is automatically the correct one because of that assumption, you are fucking up because your assumption is not true and your position – which relies either mostly or entirely on it being true – is weak because of that.
anyway I’m tired of r/adfems implying i was “complicit” in my own abuse by dating men
no one chooses to be abused, not even in your deluded-ass man-hating world. when you say that women choose to be abused bc they’re attracted to men, you’re just hurting actual abuse victims, female or not.
Plus they’re also erasing female abusers AND their victims, so there.
You know what’s scary about this age? You can’t even enjoy your down time. You’re socially convinced that every moment you’re spending not doing anything is wasted time. That you always should be working towards something. We forget that it’s okay to have a breather and simply take time to yourself.
Part of being lgbt is unlearning toxic beliefs about ourselves, and about other lgbt people. It is something we have to consciously work towards. Realizing that we’re gay or bi doesn’t immediately undo those years of resentment that were conditioned into us, and just because we can’t oppress each other on the axis of sexuality doesn’t mean we aren’t still capable of maintaining hurtful beliefs about each other, which does actually impede our ability to heal.
Here for the underdogs 