XDDD – Here for the underdogs

angeldictator:

Not elegant enough to be a vampire…. . not jock enough to be a werewolf.. ..

goblin it is

fairlylocaldreams:

ironmanstan:

literally every organism can be lead to orgasm if you take the nickel outta them

mer what does this mean

protocol00:

protocol00:

you youngins with your crunchyroll and licensed subs on everything are missing out on the true weeb experience that was small subber groups doing whatever the hell they wanted with their translations

a nugget like this will never happen again

dankmemeuniversity:

tolkienhoe:

femmefaramir:

penny-anna:

kayla-bird:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

hot take:

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards

#ITS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT #(ALSO THORIN AND KILI BEING ‘UGLY’ BY DWARF STANDARDS IS AMUSING CONTENT)

further take: Kili is straight-up ugly by dwarf standards. Thorin is like, the dwarf equivalent of Benedict Cumberbatch. Some dwarves think he’s an absolutely dreamboat, others think he is super weird looking, there’s very little middle ground.

omg now i’m like. what does this make frodo by hobbit standards

by hobbit standards, I’m afraid Frodo is probably. not conventionally attractive at all.

Frodo is the sexiest hobbit by elf standards

@femmefaramir this is some fucking galaxy brain level tags and im crying out of sheer horror

bnq:

theyoungerwhatelydaughter:

couriers-mile:

Elf androgyny and dwarf androgyny and orc androgyny are like three very different forms of androgyny and defiance of the binary and they’re all so good

Elf: everyone’s pretty, but has no ass.

Dwarf: everyone’s hairy, but has no ass.

Orc: everyone’s SHREDDED and can crack walnuts between their cheeks.

Dwarves have more cake than a bakery how DARE you

yveinthesky:

earthgirl2788:

neveratrest:

gallusrostromegalus:

allthingshyper:

gallusrostromegalus:

soup-that-is-2-hot:

everything-is-stickers:

brummbart:

Wasserspeier am Freiburger Münster

WINTER IS A BAD TIME.

What it feels like to chew 5 Gum

IT’S MY FAVORITE GARGOYLE BACK AGAIN FOR WINTERTIME.

I want to know the exact conversation that lead to the creation of this abomination

Ye olde German architect: “ok, it’s time to put in the rainspouts and last night I was out with the lads and Hans had too much and the point is I had the FUNNIEST idea…” *Holds up drawing*

Ye olde German Architect Supervisor: * snorts beer out of his nose.* “YES. BUILD IT IMMEDIATELY.”

That’s gussy babe

Sooooo I just came back from studying in Freiburg and went on a tour of the Münster with a historian who knew all of the insider secrets and the story is even better than you think.

It took more than 300 years to build the Freiburger Münster (1200s-1500s), so they went through a lot of architects and people who paid those architects. Some of the patrons were dicks and one of those dicks lived in a house right next to the Münster. The asshat kept demanding they work faster and changed his mind every five hours about what he wanted and THEN he refused to pay the architects because he wasn’t happy with what they’d done.

That really pissed the builders off so in retaliation, the head architect built the butt gargoyle facing his house so that every morning for the rest of his life, when the dick looked out his window at the Münster, he’d have to look at a gargoyle butt.

So, the defecating gargoyle is a big fat “fuck you” to someone’s dick of a boss that has survived 500 years and two world wars

*standing ovation*

worldsworstfather:

worldsworstfather:

hubris is sexy actually

being so excessively self-confident that the gods themselves have to intervene to teach you not to be such a smug little bastard??? that’s preddy hot

elwurd:

regardless on whether tumblr follows through with the nsfw ban or not there is a 100% chance that “female presenting nipples” will become a cards against humanity white card