Me, digging hozier out of his shallow grave at the base of a willow tree: hey buddy what’s new

Hozier, blinking in the golden mid-morning sunlight: my lover moves with the wind, as chaotic as the churning sea, as deadly as a raging blaze. When her eyes meet mine, i see myself dying in her arms, by her hand, and my soul finally knows bliss

Me, tucking him back in until spring: okay sleep tight buddy

Liberté, égalité, femme-presenting titté

what’s your technique for fingering ?

eatpussylivehappy:

pussy poppin hidden 2 fingers no jutsu

bigmammallama5:

momo-de-avis:

momo-de-avis:

“maybe this way the sallon will accept it, monsieur Manet”

GUYS I FOUND A LOOPHOLE IN THE SYSTEM

#BOOBLY EYES

Hey, I’ve never had a nightmare before and kinda wanna know what they’re like, can you help me out?

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

thaturltho:

vorbits:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

sure! see you soon

this is so fucking powerful it burnt off all my eyebrows

All of your eyebrows? How many do you have?

well, none now

chefpyro:

talentlack:

chefpyro:

Before tumblr dies… anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me

Having a “crush” is a level 3 horny offence and against Tumblr ToS, delete your fucking blog

Live horny die horny motherfuckers

nibi-nix:

littlejarspiritbar:

More tea leaf divination knowledge. Take notes.

@annleckie

treasurebucky:

Having a villain for a boyfriend would be like having a cat: he would live for snuggles, never come when you call him, have glow in the dark eyes, and leave dead bodies on your doorstep.